I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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