Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
