this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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