doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
