But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
