well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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