I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also, beer. Big fan.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
