Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
