Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
