The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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