so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
