fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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