I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
