Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were trust falling into bushes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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