Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
