physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
