He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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