She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
