Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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