Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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