Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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