I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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