The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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