I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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