We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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