If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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