idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
