Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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