I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
