He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
