no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
