I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
40s are totally the cure
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
