Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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