Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
