is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
