the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
