I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
