We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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