absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
