I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
