yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
