Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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