its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
