I cannot find my penis.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
