K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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