I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
