I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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