I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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