So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
