You really coming over, don't trick.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
