Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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