Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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