I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
