Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
