shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
