that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
