Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
