dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Randomize
